You have a lovely family. Amazing friends. A not-so-perfect but awesome boyfriend.
But lets face it. At the end of the day, it's just you. You and your thoughts. You and your mind. You and your feelings. You and your happiness. You and your problems. You and your mind. You and your life. YOU. And just you. Noone else.
You'll try n describe your feelings to everyone you want but does anyone ever actually get it? Do we ever actually get anyone elses feelings?
When someone tells us a happy story or a sad story...we congratulate them or scream in joy for them or laugh or listen quietly or give advice or console; whatever is needed from us at the moment. But in our heads, we really go back to what we consider our happy/sad place & think about how we felt in that moment to try and understand what the other may be going through. We can never really be in anyone elses place or feel what they feel because it's their unique experience. Not ours. Just like ours isn't theirs.
So what's the point im makin here? Well, I wonder why so few of us are actually comfortable enough with ourselves to be able to realise that & still be happy with it. Because those of us who do realise this, call it being alone. Lonely. Like it's a bad thing. It doesn't have to be a bad thing. I'm not just talking about the times when you're having problems and/or are unhappy. Because even when things are all hunky dory and you're living in your perfect fantasy world sugarcoated with the sweetest candy in the world, at the end of the day it IS just you. All by yourself.
Oh sure, sharing happiness and sadnss with our 'near and dear ones' is made out to be amazing and just the thing that makes us feel good and even happier or less sad. But let's get serious. It's still all you.
They might be happy for us. I mean of course they would be, just like you would be for them. They'll laugh with you, pat your shoulder, pop open that bottle of champagne, congratulate you. But can they really be as happy as you are? Or would you really be as happy as they are?
They may feel your pain and all that. Console you. Comfort you. Sympathise. Wipe the tears etcetera. But when you lie awake in bed at night it's only YOU who feels the pain ripping you apart inside.
So why not just try & be more comfortable with ourselves? Why not just take a walk and congratulate yourself, smile quietly and feel content. Why not just cry all by yourself and let it out? Scream, rip apart a pillow and then take a deep breath and tell yourself that it's gonna be better?
Does sharing really make anything better at all? Does it really increase your happiness or decrease the pain? Or is it just momentory. When you are alone after a while, doesn't it all come back? The giddy, heady, can't-believe-this-happened-to-me happiness or the blind, mindnumbing, glass-splinter-slowly-working-its-way into-your-skin pain?
These questions have been hounding me for a while now.
I've come to terms with the fact that I am alone. And im trying to make myself comfortable with it. I think im gettin there. But whether it's such a good thing, of that I'm not so sure. Like most other things!
Cheers~
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Wishes~
Sometimes we do get what we wish for. Sometimes. And it may not feel like it when we feel down but I really, truly believe that we do get what we wish for. And even though I may forget this while going through a bad phase, I still believe it. It may not always be right there in front of us and it may not be so easy to see or realise it, but all it takes is making that effort to realise it.
Remember hearin "Be careful what you wish for" anywhere?
Yeah. Sometimes, we really do get what we wish for. But are we sure that we really wanted it it the first place? Most of the time, we spend months, years, decades chasing after what we think we want. And once it's ours, it loses it's charm. It may be love/infatuation, a job position, revenge. Let's accept it, the thrill is in the chase. That feeling of not knowing for sure how a person feels about you, whether you're the one up for the big promotion, dreaming about the satisfaction after you get your revenge and so on and so forth. There's the thrill. An obsession, really. Keeps you on your toes.
But what happens when you really get what you wanted? Once you know he/she is in love with you? Once you're sitting in your new plush office? Once you've seen someone you hate in pain? Does it stop there? Or do you still want more? Do you get bored and without even realising it, start looking out for the next obsession? Or are you satisfied? Content?
Yes. We really should be careful what we wish for! Just might get it. And that sure doesn't make life any easier does it? :)
Remember hearin "Be careful what you wish for" anywhere?
Yeah. Sometimes, we really do get what we wish for. But are we sure that we really wanted it it the first place? Most of the time, we spend months, years, decades chasing after what we think we want. And once it's ours, it loses it's charm. It may be love/infatuation, a job position, revenge. Let's accept it, the thrill is in the chase. That feeling of not knowing for sure how a person feels about you, whether you're the one up for the big promotion, dreaming about the satisfaction after you get your revenge and so on and so forth. There's the thrill. An obsession, really. Keeps you on your toes.
But what happens when you really get what you wanted? Once you know he/she is in love with you? Once you're sitting in your new plush office? Once you've seen someone you hate in pain? Does it stop there? Or do you still want more? Do you get bored and without even realising it, start looking out for the next obsession? Or are you satisfied? Content?
Yes. We really should be careful what we wish for! Just might get it. And that sure doesn't make life any easier does it? :)
Monday, January 18, 2010
Soul prints~
"There is someone special for everyone. Often there are two or three or even four. They come from different generations. They travel across oceans of time and the depths of the heavenly dimensions to be with you again. They come from the other side, from heaven ... You are bonded together throughout eternity, and you will never be alone."
I was reading this book called Only Love is Real by Dr Brian Weiss, a psychiatrist who uses past life regression as a way to heal his patients. This is his third book that I've read and I must say I am hooked. And yes, this was way before "Raaz pichle janam ka"! :)
There are many parts that have fascinated me very much and I ponder over them now and again and the more I think about it, the more it makes sense to me. I think I can safely say I am very much a believer.
Now this book in particular talks about soulmates and how they unite and separate across many lives only to come together again and again. They re-unite in many relationships besides lovers. They could be father-daughter, brother-sister, friends, grandmother-grandchild, teacher-student and so on and so forth. He cites the example of two of his patients who have never met each other in their present lives and during their individual, separate treatments and past-life regressions they both go back to the same past life... in which they shared a close and loving father-daughter relationship. They describe the exact same events and love for each other. They had a happy ending and are now apparently happily married!
But more fascinating to me was something that has been given great emphasis in all of his books. We have had a soul connection with everyone we come across in our lives. There is something valuable to learn from every single person we connect with in our life - our family, friends and even people we may have just spoken to for 5 minutes. There is some significance in all our relationships, good and bad.
Think of soul relationships as similar to a large tree with a thousand leaves on it. The leaves on your twig are intimately close to you. You may even share experiences, soul experiences, among yourselves. There may be two or three or four or even five leaves on your twig {or more}. You are also highly and closely related to the other leaves on the branch next to yours. They share a common limb. They are close to you, but not as close as the leaves on your twig. Similarly, as you extend farther out along the tree, you are still related to these other leaves or souls, but not as closely as those in your immediate proximity. You are all part of one tree and one trunk. You can share experiences. You know each other. But those on your twig are and will remain closest.
There are many other trees in this forest and each tree is connected to the others through the roots! So even though there may be a leaf on some distant tree that seems very far away, it is still connected to you.
Amazing, huh!?
Now, when I say I'm a believer, I mean it. But still this thought came up in my head and won't go away. So, okay, we all have this soulmate. Maybe in this life, it is my mother or father or brother or my best friend or maybe my future husband! Understood. And I think I know who it is. But the point I'm trying to make is this.
On an average, most people would have say 4-5 relationships in their life before they settle down with (supposedly) "the one", right? Love relationships. Now, speaking only for myself, I feel with every relationship that I have had... I leave a part of myself with that person when one or both of us move on. Isn't there this feeling, that emotion, something or the other that instantly reminds you of that person, who is no longer in your life or part of it (except that one phone call, say once or twice in 6 months). There is a print of my soul that I've left behind and it will forever be that way. What is that then? We learn from them and/or they learn from us and then we move on and forget? But aren't we leaving behind parts of our soul? Sure, there could be so many dimensions to this discussion here.
Let's presume the person I end up marrying is my soulmate. The one. When we meet it will be perfect and we will share the most intimate soul connection. But we are definitely leaving something behind with every relationship, serious or casual, that we are a part of. I really do believe we leave behind parts of our being, our soul as we go about our lives. Our soul prints~
So wont there be something missing in my soulmate connection then?
I was reading this book called Only Love is Real by Dr Brian Weiss, a psychiatrist who uses past life regression as a way to heal his patients. This is his third book that I've read and I must say I am hooked. And yes, this was way before "Raaz pichle janam ka"! :)
There are many parts that have fascinated me very much and I ponder over them now and again and the more I think about it, the more it makes sense to me. I think I can safely say I am very much a believer.
Now this book in particular talks about soulmates and how they unite and separate across many lives only to come together again and again. They re-unite in many relationships besides lovers. They could be father-daughter, brother-sister, friends, grandmother-grandchild, teacher-student and so on and so forth. He cites the example of two of his patients who have never met each other in their present lives and during their individual, separate treatments and past-life regressions they both go back to the same past life... in which they shared a close and loving father-daughter relationship. They describe the exact same events and love for each other. They had a happy ending and are now apparently happily married!
But more fascinating to me was something that has been given great emphasis in all of his books. We have had a soul connection with everyone we come across in our lives. There is something valuable to learn from every single person we connect with in our life - our family, friends and even people we may have just spoken to for 5 minutes. There is some significance in all our relationships, good and bad.
Think of soul relationships as similar to a large tree with a thousand leaves on it. The leaves on your twig are intimately close to you. You may even share experiences, soul experiences, among yourselves. There may be two or three or four or even five leaves on your twig {or more}. You are also highly and closely related to the other leaves on the branch next to yours. They share a common limb. They are close to you, but not as close as the leaves on your twig. Similarly, as you extend farther out along the tree, you are still related to these other leaves or souls, but not as closely as those in your immediate proximity. You are all part of one tree and one trunk. You can share experiences. You know each other. But those on your twig are and will remain closest.
There are many other trees in this forest and each tree is connected to the others through the roots! So even though there may be a leaf on some distant tree that seems very far away, it is still connected to you.
Amazing, huh!?
Now, when I say I'm a believer, I mean it. But still this thought came up in my head and won't go away. So, okay, we all have this soulmate. Maybe in this life, it is my mother or father or brother or my best friend or maybe my future husband! Understood. And I think I know who it is. But the point I'm trying to make is this.
On an average, most people would have say 4-5 relationships in their life before they settle down with (supposedly) "the one", right? Love relationships. Now, speaking only for myself, I feel with every relationship that I have had... I leave a part of myself with that person when one or both of us move on. Isn't there this feeling, that emotion, something or the other that instantly reminds you of that person, who is no longer in your life or part of it (except that one phone call, say once or twice in 6 months). There is a print of my soul that I've left behind and it will forever be that way. What is that then? We learn from them and/or they learn from us and then we move on and forget? But aren't we leaving behind parts of our soul? Sure, there could be so many dimensions to this discussion here.
Let's presume the person I end up marrying is my soulmate. The one. When we meet it will be perfect and we will share the most intimate soul connection. But we are definitely leaving something behind with every relationship, serious or casual, that we are a part of. I really do believe we leave behind parts of our being, our soul as we go about our lives. Our soul prints~
So wont there be something missing in my soulmate connection then?
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